F.U. EntertainmentMain Links |
A long, long time ago on a streetcorner far, far away.. Narrator: Camera reveals view of the bad part of the city. From gangs, to drugs, to typical homocide, to transvestite hookers everywhere. There is a man...a man who, frankly, never did give a big damn about anyone. Jon-bo (driving his badass truck of death..spiky wheels, gatling guns mounted on the roof, and a kickass sound system) Jonbo: ... Narrator: Jon is going through another typical day of just flat out kicking ass. It is his occupation. He goes around, kicks ass, and gets payed for it. Narrator: Suddenly Jonbo here is caught in a bad traffic jam. Jonbo:....yeah right Narrator: ...that is, until he snaps and mowes everyone the hell down as he passes by. Jonbo: Bastards Narrator: But what's this...a crime..detected! Camera shows Jonbo narrowing his eyes to the sight of a shitty looking suiped up car. Complete with extra rims, hydrolics and other assorted fake conformity, Jonbo decides to kick ass. Being the ideal business man he is, he decides to do this one free of charge. Shitty suiped up cars get first priority thrashings, afterall. Jonbo:Die,bitch Suddenly Jonbo activates his "Ultra Ass Kicking Machine Of Brutal Death" (UAKMOBD for short, if you will) to go into Super Ass Kicking, Ultra Pissed Off Mode. The gatling guns morph into rocket launchers and resume with fireing rockets endlessly to the car. Driving by the ruin, not thinking twice. Jonbo: .... Jon resumes in his daily activites spiteful behavior, paving the rainforests, running over children, and liveless protestors. Camera zooms to Jimwa Lee, standing in the forest, looking as if he is expecting something Narrator: Jimwa Lee...one could argue he, too, kicks much ass. General ass kicker with his mad kungfu/Jetkeendo skills and nunchuakus. Suddenly tons of ninjas jump from the trees and sourround Jimwa Jimwa Lee: ..............( long pause and serious look on face) Leader Ninja (words don't match mouth movements) Now..JImwa Lee...we shall...see...who..is...the dead man! Jimwa Lee: (Ten seconds of a serious face than grins)Oh...yeah? We shall...see...about...that! Leader Ninja: (Pause..nothing happens, then speaks) ..Hmm..That was..the cue...to end the cheesy, typical poorly dubbed speach and commence in ludicrous, bloody violence. Jimwa Lee: (mouth moves for a long time without any sound coming out...then about 20 seconds finally in he says..) Oh.........yeah five ninjas attack at once. One throws a kick, only for Jimwa Lee to grab it and rip the ninjas leg off. Jimwa Lee: WWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaa The Ninja runs away, obviously in great pain, only for Jimwa to chase after him, ninjas leg still in hand, and beats the ninja with his own leg. Jimwa (drops leg): Break...a....leg...pal...ha...ha...ha A ninja just then tosses a shurikan to Jimwa Lee! Jimwa Lee: Fool. You do not realise my outstandingly precise coordination! Jimwa Lee catches the ninja star in mid air and flicks it back effortlessly...the ninja is on the ground, chooped up into little pieces. A ninja starts throwing a combo of attacks, as jimwa blocks each with his pinky. Jimwa Lee: HWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!! Jimwa forces his palm into the guys chest, rips his heart out, eats it, licking the blood from his mouth. Jimwa:.......tasty The ninjas finally get some damn sense and all at once sorround Jimwa Leader Ninja: Impressive..Jimwa Lee..But Iam afraid..that you are about to suffer.....violently! Jimwa: Oh ho...Iam afraid that it is you who is about to be dead...violently! Dramatic pause as Jimwa suddenly outbursts- Jimwa: HHHWWWAAAAAA!!!!! Jimwa Lee busts his nunchucks out of nowhere and flings them around at an incredably flashy, blur-like motion. For minuiets he puts on a display as the jackass ninjas sit there with their thumbs up their asses, failing to see any oppertunity or sense to do something Suddenly Jimwa kills them all in less than 3 seconds with his nunchukas. After the big flash of combat he cooly stands up straight and puts his nunchuks away..the ninjas are still standing for a dramatic effect than 15 seconds later, collapse. Jimwa Lee cracks his neck and walks away Screen goes to Jon still driving his veicle of mass destruction. Suddenly he stops abruptly to see Jimwa crossing. Jimwa Lee: What peculiar manner of man...drives this? The door of Jons veicle slowly opens as Jonbo himeself steps out. Walking slowly to Jimwa Lee. Jon: .... Jimwa Lee: You, bitter looking silent man, what is it in which you have just ceased your peculiar veicles motion to my presense? Jon: ..... Jimwa Lee: oh, friend, why is it in which you have ceased to feed that great beast the gas in which it feeds to run, oh answer me this! Jon: ...you're blockin' the road, tool. Narrator: Twist of fate? Hype for a kickass fight? Found out in the next installement of the adventures of Jimwa Lee and Jonbo! Alright, this is part one. Short and stupid, yes. But you know what? You can go get bent. Anyway, future installments will be longer. |