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Welcome to F.U. Entertainment; the site so awesome,viewing it WILL get you laid. Here you may find scripts, articles, and other misc. features that are aimed to make you laugh. Unfortunately, they make most squeemish. Rest assured, this site is awesome. Now no, there arn't cybernetic nazi midgets leaping through flaming hoops..it's not that awesome..but still pretty awesome. Maybe awesome to a more mediocre degree. Holy SHIT you're still reading this? Enjoy.
Happy New Year all my peeps 'n' pimps out thar! That was lame, but I had to be the first to update the site for the year 2006. I just have to be! Thank God since Jon doesn't do much to lower my chances of this precious occassion (Note to Jon: Don't take it seriously you silly goose!) What better way than making you question my sexuality with the comeback phrase 'peeps 'n' pimps out thar!' and '-you silly goose'? All that is beside the point. I added a brand new article in the articles section. It is basically an article of how to make sorry examples of video games become works of art. I'm still alive and working on new things for the site so that whole 'no updates for almost three months' is worth jack to what is coming up. I noticed Jon changed the articles section by taking down 31 of his articles in a desperate attempt to mask his past works.... How sad... SO I decided to bring him back his manhood by reintroducing 11 of the articles in the section. Remember Jon, they are laughing at you not with you. For my random thought of the day, I been noticing that almost everybody I know are making these myspace blogs. Let me assured you readers that I am not part of that blog program or any other. Why is it that people are making themselves appear more lame by being part of a site that advertises nothing more than a shameless attempt at bringing back internet profiles? Sure it helps you meet people, but so does running around your local mall butt naked (I recommend neither of these methods). It is the definition of lame to blog about blogging and making up large updates that make no sense since only a select few visit your blog.... Wait..... no it can't be true... F.U. Entertainment updates is a... no...No....It's not possible...... I can't be a-..... Forget what I just said..... except the new article part since that still kicks so much @$$. Until next time....
It's a-me... JIMWA! Woo-hoo! Mama-meya! Was that retarded or what? Oh you thought that actually was retarded! Oh you know what? You're retarded! There I said it.... No turning back... No turning back the clock foo.... Now let me talk about a random thing: politics. No, not really I was again trying to throw you off by rambling a lot in the beginning of the update trying to leave the lasting impression that I'm in fact a wicked, modest genius.... or it could the fact that I'm too tired to really think straight... Ummmm anyway I did add something... Ummm what was it- Oh I added a broken link and a brand new script called "Musei Naito". Musei Naito is a new script series that is serious and portrays love, betrayal, over-the-top sceneries, and a mostly historically accurate landscape. It takes place in the early 1200's in Japan and 'stars' Keito Kumada, a up and coming leader of a group of troops near the Northern Japanese region. If this vaguely sounds familiar then you are either A) An avid F.U. reader (God bless you for reading all this sh-tuff for so long) or B) An F.U. staff member (God bless God you smell.... Fun dog pee..... Damn tired I-s-z....). Weight a seken.... Let me dink sum moor calf-fean.... Back on track. Where was I? Oh yea I was talking about how Jon grew his first pubic hair today.... Oh what a wonderfully humorous story it was. It all started when Jon-Wait..... No, I was actually talking about the script. Musei Naito is not a direct sequel to Gireihei, but they both stem around the same time period. I would leave the rest for you to decipher about its connection. Musei Naito is looking at being at the very least 8 parts if not 10. So for scale of story it would be a massive series (with a finite ending). I know this may be my last update.....HEY STOP CLAPPING! I meant this would be my last update before Halloween. So before I go I want to leave you with a lil' treat (It's a lil' treat since it isn't a picture of a Hot Japanese Chick)  Until next time....
After quite an absense, I finally give to you a new article to amuse yourself with. Part one, of a series of many. Wankers beware.
Bate. In explanation of my long absense, you are probably expecting something grand and elaborate. Did I convert to a dedicated life as a Buddhist monk momentarily, and got bored and came back? Did I recently escape, being tied up in Jimwa's basement? Did Tony Danza jump me in a dark alley and gouge my eyes out, rendering me unable to work on a website? Although I wish I could say yes to those, I was indeed just lazy. I was in a dry period of having no meterial of substance to give.
What else could I say? It been quite a long time since we added something. Heck let's face it.... Jon only interjected with a random line so far since the real updates weren't around for a good month and 1/2. The biggest reason why is college.... So as a forewarning don't expect too many updates for the next 6 months due to the fact that college takes a chunk of time while Hot Japanese Chicks and gaming takes the rest (I'm a very busy man for sure). Time for me to announce what is added. This is the portion of the update where I show my goodies and do a lame excuse for a one-two step.... Eh.... that was kinda lame.... Can I delete that and replace it with something funnier?...Mmmmmm.... I'm too lazy to do that... Anyway, I had enough time to work on an article which explores what would happen if a certain event occur (Yup I'm keeping it a secret so you HAVE to click on the link... I love to play mind games... No really, I do..... Ummmm.... Here's one... If God is omnipotent and all powerful then can he build a ship big enough that he can't lift it? Ummmm was it a ship? Or was it an oreo? Or am I that nuts to continue this train of thought?) Before I go I would like to leave on one note (this is my sentimental not-so-bad@$$ moment): I hope all the families of Hurricane Katrina are doing alright, and I hope my $6 in donations would do the better good such as finance the construction of a couple houses or a boat full of food. Whatever is needed first... ummm... Let's look forward into the future and see how a rejuvenated New Orleans can be foster by the hope of the survivors. Peace with ya's and to the rest of you non-survivors (Well technically, aren't we all in some form survivors of Hurricane Katrina?) I hope you keep on living in peace. Man, am I turning gay? Ouch, that didn't sound right "-hope you keep living in peace." I should kick my own @$$ kick for that one....What was I thinking? Oh well.... Until next time......
When the walls are thin, thou shalt bate less ferociously.
Added not one, but two articles. One is a list of things to do over the summer (101 things, to be precise). The other is actually a story written in a novel-like format (Thus, didn't make sense to put in the scripts section). You can access both in the (dig this): Articles section. Now get back ta work, you silly little ho's.
I now know two things about Jon: 1)He is an odd fellow and 2) He is not a very good drawer... Now I do know I have two thing that I added and both are movie reviews! Hurrah! One of the reviews is on Batman Begins and the other is on.... guess.... yes it is in fact a review of the Notebook. Which movie is better of the two? Well check out the reviews and you'll find out that a surprise awaits. Ok, that sounds corny but when did I ever not been corny? Now here's a picture (randomly placed!)
 One thing that isn't random is my concern that Jon hasn't added content. JON GET TO IT! NOW! I'm just kidding (really I am), but at least he added some interesting (by interesting I mean interRESTing) pictures. I been working on articles, more movie reviews (one for July 4th might I add), and other stuff. I feel like a broken record by keep on saying 'I been working on this and that and this and that and Jazz and that and pick-up lines and this'. You know before I go I would like to mention something. I do in fact play games like Halo 2 on X-Box live and if you happen to come across me don't mind giving me a lame excuse for a hollah or whatever. One time I play there was literally a guy who spoke Japanese. Now I am going somewhere with this little story. Anyway, I literally told him 'Konichiwa' and the guy simply reply 'Konichiwa? A ho ho ha ho ho!' Which plague me to ask him frankly 'Do you know any Hot Japanese Chicks?' You know what? I had no replied in either Japanese or English. If you are that guy (whose gamertag starts with a x) I would like an answer now! Beside that I'm going to shut my mouth before you all start copying. Don't lie, I know I'm cool. So quit hatin' and start participatin'! Until next time........
Wassup all my peeps 'n' pimps out thar!?!?!? Wow, who would've guess it... two updates in a row and the fact that Jon finally said something. So that is what he's been doing all this time... Smackin' him some ho's. You better start simmering down on the cereal Jon.
 I knew sooner or later it'll all get up to his head. Anyway beside me having a good ol' time zinging Jon (all part of a balanced breakfast for me) I do have some updates to mention myself. I just added a brand new article in the articles section for you all to check out. It is the first of a series of profiles I'm doing in Bad-@$$ery and how people in our very own history kick some major @$$. You better check it out since it has a VERY, VERY special download from your's truly. No worries about the download for I swear it is a pure .mp3 file with no attachments (I hate sites that do that). Just be careful before pressing play for it'll literally rock you through the roof and all that would remain in your place would be your shoes and socks smoking from all the heat. To top off the news I'm also working on more scripts, articles, and game/movie reviews. Nothing left for me to say right now except 'Remember the Alamo' and other pointless jargen. Until next time....
F.U is back, and in full bloom. You may find yourself wondering:"What the hell, Jon!? Why havn't you updated? I thought you were dead. Why arn't you dead? Where do babies come from?" Do you really want to know? I've been out smackin' me some ho's. That's what. Or nothing. Eaither way. Jimwa has completed yet another (and pretty leangthy) Amigos in the Future for you. By you I mean YOU. Yeah, you..sitting there at yer computer..smug. Feel you have every right to bitch and complain when a brother doesn't update for awhile, as... WHAT THE HELL am I talking about? In this latest installment on Jimwa's steller Amigos in the Future series, you will find Akira and what he claims as his new calling. I really am in the making of a couple projects for the site, so I should just ask of you to keep your pants on because they'll be here soon.....and because you sitting there, looking at what I say, with your pants down is more than slightly disturbing. I am consulting my conscious and seeking a sort of essential bit of info I am leaving out, but I feel there is none. Later, baters.
IS ANYBODY OUT THERE?! Nowadays it seems like this site has only one staff member.... me! What is up with that? I might as well change the staff page to be one huge comprehensive history behind me, the Great Everlastin' Jimwa! It can have my family tree, likes and dislikes, and a healthy dose of personal blog space. Oh man do I rule..... To be serious, Jon is still working on some things (What kinds of things? FUN things! That's right!) and even took the liberty of changing the main page's intro. Uglyfreak, on the other hand, has been working on that crazy tan of his! Good thing I added two new exciting items to the site. One of the items is an article by yours truly. It is an informative guide to help out all those lonely guys. I also added a movie review of Star Wars Episode 3: Revenge of the Sith which should add to the already mammoth amount of reviews over one piece of film. Ummm... what else can I say? Well for one I been kicking some serious @$$ at work (for you that don't know, yes I do have a life). One time as I patrol the DVD aisle at my workplace, I saw this old man searching through the racks of DVDS. I asked him politely, "What are you looking for?" to which he replied "I'm looking for elf". I was dumbfounded. NO ELVES WORK HERE! "Sir I think the proper term is midgets. We don't hire midgets here," I said with a blank face. The old man scratch his head before he roll along out of the store in his motorized wheel chair. That was before Keebler came in for his nightly shift after working his day job at the cookie tree. As you can tell- that was a complete sarcastic joke and shouldn't be taken seriously. Come on! We all know Keebler loves the morning shift! Until next time......
Wassup all my....my? Did I forget my catch phrase? Wait.... Did I have a catch phrase? Ummmm.... Don't mind that. I just want to let you, the readers, know about the bunch of stuff added on to the site recently before I forget that too. Right now a brand new article is up in the articles section by yours truly. It is actually a nice story to tell those kiddies (if you happen to have any) at bedtime. The original creator of this spoken tale is non other than the lovable CrAzY sTeVe. Oh and that's not all folks! I also have a brand new script series up on the site as well! It is called copycat censorship you heard me right when I said copycat censorship. Let me say that again- copycat censorship! It is a new script series about a giant naked cat who is in the fight to stop profanity, nudity, piracy, and copyright infringement while he enjoys an occasional glass of tequila now and then. If you want further proof to question my sanity then you better check it out. That my friends is a whole lotta content... And more is coming up. I haven't abandon Amigos in the Future for I'm working on number 11 and Jon is working on some articles (to which I don't know about... Maybe they are articles on how to bake a pie.... I love pie!) and a new serious script series. If I disclose anymore information I'm afraid that the silent ninjas from the CIA would kick down my door and give me a load of kick @$$. Well they'll try to kick my @$$ anyway. Did that make sense? Just forget what I just said.... Until next.... Ummmm... Ah forget it!
Wassup all my peeps 'n' pimps out thar!?!?!? Jeez, who da thunk it? Approximately 373 days ago was the last time we updated the site. 373 days without the Great Everlastin' Jimwa or Jon (Well technically Jon posted an update on September of last year but that isn't really a update since there wasn't any content.... Oh that Jon!). How the hell did you guys manage to even survive without us? That's hard to imagine. You may have ask yourselves (probably didn't but I'll just presume that anyway): "Where the hell are those guys? What could they possibly do? DO THEY HAVE A LIFE TO LIVE! THEY CAN'T!" Our answer to that: We were living lives and yup we were all equal parts lazy and bastard. My personalized answer to that: For the past 373 days I been on safari for the ultimate prize... Hot Japanese Chicks (Let that soak in for you probably never heard me mention Hot Japanese Chicks before)
 I don't know what Jon did for 373 days. Maybe he rob a bank (shrugs) who knows? What I do know is there has been changes to the site and new content has been added. Plus Jon is back to work on new articles! So things from here on out are going to be fresh. Much fresher than the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. Anyway by the look at the sidebar, things look reduced. Don't fret! All our material is still intact, but now its more orderly and doesn't look like complete crap. Uglyfreak's and Jon's articles have been move together in a brand new articles section which shows all of the staff members articles and with the most recent article being highlighted up top for quick access. 30 articles of Jon's have been revived (since Jon was real lazy in linking to a good percentage of his older articles). Oh did I forget someone... Mmmmmmmmm........Mmmmmmmmmm....... Oh yea I am now also going to do articles! Let's start the grafetti parade! OH YEA! *Whew* I'm sure you wish I stop mentioning any updates for another 373 days after that display. Anyway I have my first article up and running so check it OUT. It is my rebuttal to some snobby lawyer's comments and actions toward the game industry. Sounds fun? Well it is! As much fun as someone can have from reading an article.... Another change to the site is the newly improved GameCenter section which combines all the game reviews, game projects, and game makers in one. So no more scrambling around for the game stuff. Well that's it for the next 373 days, enjoy! Heh as you can tell that was a sarcastic comment. Jon is working on new articles and I have more articles and game reviews under the works as well. You can think of this as some sort of "rebirth" period that is not as fancy as the Renaissance, but still is freakin' hot (almost as hot as a Hot Japanese Chick). Until next time.....
Fuck Websense. If you don't know yet about this group, it's the fourth reich. This group that basically just goes around filtering out websites that do not meet their undoubtadly superior moral standards. Several websites I enjoy viewing will be filtered out. Luckily the filtering is quite inconsistent. You know, I just love how they take their time filtering out EVIL satire sites. I mean come on people, let's focus all our time and energy filtering out pages of pure humor that some find offensive (not personally to them, but knows some people would find it offensive) rather than the countless millions of pornography or terrorst-propaganda. Yes, and I do realise the site has notbeen updated in a real long time. Why you ask? No real reason, to be honest. We just didn't really know anything meaninful to put. We've been having that problem since the summer of '03. So yes, spread the word, F.U is still alive.
Note to self: Don't let Jon do updates anymore... Oh hey! How are you readers doing today? I can't hear you! Alright since I'm a slap in the face to many I would like to start off with the updates (Which are the main reason besides staring at my manly pecs of steel). Amigos in the Future #1: REVISED! is up for major whoop @$$. The reason why I did was I notice some errors with my first 4 year old creation. One reason; Chris said more then he should to remain cool. I know I spoiled you peeps with it so that was one reason. Other reasons include references to aging sagas and other little things. So I decided to put on my George Lucas branded 'Special Edition' cap and worked on the revised edition. Alright and there is more... Well really that's it. I know its lame since you want more, more, and more of what we offer here. Heck, our material is as addictive as pie. Not as addictive as Hot Japanese Chicks on DDR, but awful close. Anyhoo I do have some news- I'm one year and one day older as of this moment. Wanna know how old I am? (I'm not 10, so stop asking!) It is between the age group of 1-110. Want more clues? Alright another clue is I'm 5’9 1/2 inches tall, lean 'n' muscular, pure kick @$$, and I love pleasant walks along the beach and exploring my emotions. Got a clue yet? Well you have two clues now go run into a wall or something... AFTER you read this site back to front and front to back again in drooling admiration. Sounds like sound advice to me... Well I better get going. See ya later my peeps 'n' pimps out thar! Until next time....
F.U Entertainment is the best thing out there. Now what would make me say something to blatant, so condifendly, right? I use to scoff at this site as nothing more than crap, until one fateful day. While checking my mail, I get an email from none other than Satan himeself! That's right, the godfather of spite has commended me for my efforts. Below is the exact email. If you think I'm making this up, you're just a whiny little hag who only wishes your site was commended by the fuckin' DEVIL HIMESELF. Subj: Dude, good work. Date: 4/22/2004 11:46:57 PM Central Standard Time From: GOD_STINKS_666@HOTmail.com (Note: har har har, Lucifer. Even hells domain name is witty!) To: Lateralus72002@aol.com
To the ass kickers of F.U Entertainment and my new potentiol antichrists, I was almost at my rope, brothers. See, guys, I've been having enough of this new age, mushy, politically correct, grabassed era nowadays. Just about getting ready to retire and let God win this eternal war, I stumbled across your site one day when attempting to search for she-devil porn. A sigh of relief, my friends. Your articles are grandly sleazy, and the layout just makes me orgasm out flame and brimstone. But really, and your spiteing is legendary. Thanks to you, I will get out of retirement and continue to drift you humans away from the potentiol eternal paradise on earth you were going to have. Though I wish you'd take off that SjMafia site on the links section..that guy has no clue what he speaks of. See guys, evil is misunderstood anymore. These factions of "good" and "evil" are just factions to win an eternal war of who-has-more-suckers. Live your individualism (is that a word! Bah! I'm fuckin' Lucifer, what do I care!?), friends, and enter your own seed of existance in which you may focus the true energues of life into a new simple complexity of non-comprehendable bliss. The spend the next 10,000 years bullying around little people you make, and strictly make them do your whim with outlandish sacrifices, thousands of years of bloody, bloody wars, and Sunday brunch. Hypocrites, I say. Yeah, that's right. The fuckin' devil himeself approves of this very site! What do you have on me now, huh? That's right...yeah!! Well, excited of my new destiny, Iam going to persue the rest of my life on an unholy quest as the antichrist and un-do everything my holy brother did about 2,000 years ago. So farewell F.U Entertainment:I'll see you later...in the new and improved hell!! Bwahahahahhahahaha!!
 Weren't expecting that, eh? Oh you were.... Crap! Alright now that I paid my dues to the Tiki Goblin on Candy Island: I can now start to dish out the updates like a bat out of hell. First off, I proven I am sirloin 100% nerd with attitude with a movie review of Transformers: The Movie. I never saw this movie before, but I'm actually glad I did... Check out the review to see what I mean. Makes you wish you were a big pile of bolts that can change to another pile of bolts. Mmm... I feel like singing a song (Please don't mind this): Jimwa-Formers.... More then meets the eye... Jimwa-Formers... Jimwa in disguise... Do do do da da! I know, I know. My singing is pure amazing... it's true, it's true! Alright *whew* now I got that off my chest I do have another update for ya! Project Jimwa has a new update with the very first page of pre-production game planning outline. I know my handwritting is worse then a doctor and my stick figures look like my pet Turtle drew them but it some good stuff. It is only one page... Oh I have more.... He he he... More pages (Starts swimming around in a room full of pages with glee)... (Starts rubbing himself with pages)... Those pages are something else....I personally have to settle down. What I just wrote sounded like if Dick Van Dyke had a night with Dyke Van Dick! Did that just make sense? No? Why no? Alright I know how to solve this! I have the cure all method for solving doubt, depression, insomnia, and all the problems in the world. Wanna know the solution I have? Alright here it is-
Wassup all my peeps 'n' pimps out thar?!?!? I'm back... Jack. Alright I'm going to do something completely original and new.. I'm actually going to tell you the updates.... Ummm yea wow that’s fresh right? Ok first things first I updated the GameCenter Makers page with a new maker! Oh and that's not all folks... I also updated the GameCenter Games page with a new project I'm currently working on for Far Cry. The project is so far known as... Get this.... Project Jimwa. Just click on that bright, red shiny link to check out the page full of information about this kick @$$ campaign that will own you! Oh and we also have a new staff member..... Bill Cosby! Oh yea! I'm just kidding oh yea oh yea! Oh yea Jimwa ran out of good fresh material oh yea! Time for me to shut the lip oh yea! Unless there is a Hot Japanese chick who would like to shut it for me... Oh hell yea! Ehhh.. Is it me or have I been too generous? All these awesome updates for those dedicated readers who in my mind kick @$$. Seriously I appreciate those who actually take time out of their days to read this kind of crap... I don't mean crap crap... I mean pretty crap. This site rocks! This might be the first time you've heard this on this very site but I really feel strongly about it. Now I know I'm a contributor and Co-Webmaster of this site so in a sense I'm oblige to say that my work of art is great but I know it when a site sucks. A site sucks when it doesn't update for five years.... A site sucks when it resorts to having only one web page about their acne spots and kitty cats.... A site sucks when it only has a picture of the webmaster....A site sucks when it resorts to stupid inane humor about hot Asian women... Ahhhhh scratch that and put that under what makes a site rock! Well start expecting this site to continually rock and bring forth more fresh content like scripts, a StarCraft campaign (mmmm), Project Jimwa, and much much more! I'm keeping my fingers cross for Tim to finally put something up on this site. I mean it would rock to rename this site "F.U. Entertainment... AND Tim!" Before I start saying sucks and rocks so many times that it would annoy you... I would make my leave. See ya later all my peeps 'n' pimps 'n' Hot Japanese Chicks out thar! Until next time....
Wassup all my peeps 'n' pimps out thar?!?!? Wow times flies by... when you aren’t doing much on a site. Sorry about the pure agony and torture you guys have to go through: All the time without new content and then bam Jon starts updating... Just makes you grate your teeth in pain. Well Jimwa is here to relieve you of your mortal suffering and to bring forth kick @$$ new material. A brand new Amigos in the Future is up and it is quite original if I say so myself. Alright I know I don't usually blow my own horn about my projects... But I felt that this new Amigos set the series in the same direction it is heading for but not leading it into being trite or unoriginal; that is definitely not the purpose of Amigos. Its purpose is to make you guys laugh and make you guys cry... But mostly laugh! So what stories or tales of enchantment does Jimwa have to tell you today? Well nothing really beside the fact that I been going at my job like a stud-muffin sending all the ladies within a 100 mile radius bonkers for Jimwa's boxers... Yea I'm a playa. Ok I'm not really a playa... More like a normal Joe... Then again I'm more like a nerd.... with attitude of course! I'm getting to the point in life where I have to ask the big questions and search for the answers. What is the meaning of life? What should I be when I grow up? What college should I apply for? How can I obtain my goals I set for myself? Should I wear the red or blue speedos? What should I have for breakfast? Yea all rough questions indeed. I usually resort to asking the magic 8 ball for answers but I quit when it kept telling me to "Please try again". The magic 8 ball has good intentions but I figure it doesn't help in my pursuit of love since throwing it at girls only causes them to develop a bruise and pisses them off... This reminds me of that Wonder Years episode when Kevin tries to win Wendy over... Wait a sec that was all the episodes of Wonder Years... What the fruckit-frick!?! Before I develop a brand new language here in the update I better get going. See ya later all my peeps 'n' pimps out thar! Until next time.... Want more of these awesome updates? Well just check out the Archieves. Where instead of tossing out our old updates into a trash can, we store them into our site.
By Viewing this site you agree that you have no right to ridicule or express any contrary opinion of any of the staff. F.U.Entertainment is not responsible for any so called inspired acts of ass kicking and/or acts of sinfull self indulgence. By agreeing with these terms you agree to express no opinion of your own and that you are a nobody. You agree that we have full ownership of you, your family, your friends, your house, your property, your manservant, maidservant, your soul, your firstborn, and must normally donate a pint of virgin blood as a sacrifice to appease us. Enjoy the site.
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